Westchester Attorney Solves Global Economic Crisis

I have the solution to the global economic crisis. Well, actually, it was started by a restaurateur in London but I will take it to a whole new level.

In order to stimulate the economy, we should pay for services, food, commodities what we think they are worth. It is revolutionary. The G-men, Greenspan, Geithner, they have never thought of this and it is so simple. Let the market decide. Wouldn’t a true capitalist trust in this economic recovery plan? It makes a lot of sense. It is sort of a hybrid between the ancient barter system and the currency markets.

The International Herald Tribune reports that the G7 leaders ended their meeting in Rome yesterday “with a pledge to do all they could to combat recession without distorting free trade.” Well, my plan is in line with that brilliant strategy. In fact, it advances that goal with a concrete plan, more than the G7 folks came up with….why didn’t they call on me? I would’ve flown to Rome on a whim.

Lisa Fantino Westchester Attorney

Lisa Fantino Westchester Attorney

Listen, I am a Westchester attorney, Westchester, the suburban land of milk and honey outside of New York. For the outsiders, it’s the land of mega-mansions and Lexus and Infiniti dealerships, the poor step-sister of its even wealthier neighbor, Greenwich, Connecticut. But hey, I’ll roll the dice, let my clients pay me what they think I’m worth. Maybe my rate would then sky-rocket to $500 an hour (don’t laugh, some of my clients really, really love me!)

My shopping list would go something like this:

  • Teeth cleaning at the dentist = $25
    (it’s just brushing my teeth)
  • Car wash  = $5
    (how much can water & soap cost?)
  • Value Meal at McDonald’s = free
    (they should pay us to load us with fat)
  • one share of Goldman Sachs = $125 (we need to get back to the good old days)
  • Salary of the U.S. President = $500,000 (I’ll give him a raise and he gets to keep Air Force  One)
  • Salary of the President and/or CEO of ANY bank or financial institution = $1.00 and they  get a bus pass (The corporate jets becomes party planes for the rest of us)
  • Property taxes on a $400K condo = $1,000 (hey, it’s only a condo, not a house!)
  • R/T airfare from N/Y to Rome = $500
  • rental of an automatic car while in Europe = $50/day (capitalists drive automatic cars!)
  • and the value of a Westchester, New York attorney with a sense of humor during this global economic crisis – PRICELESS!
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