I have the solution to the global economic crisis. Well, actually, it was started by a restaurateur in London but I will take it to a whole new level.
In order to stimulate the economy, we should pay for services, food, commodities what we think they are worth. It is revolutionary. The G-men, Greenspan, Geithner, they have never thought of this and it is so simple. Let the market decide. Wouldn’t a true capitalist trust in this economic recovery plan? It makes a lot of sense. It is sort of a hybrid between the ancient barter system and the currency markets.
The International Herald Tribune reports that the G7 leaders ended their meeting in Rome yesterday “with a pledge to do all they could to combat recession without distorting free trade.” Well, my plan is in line with that brilliant strategy. In fact, it advances that goal with a concrete plan, more than the G7 folks came up with….why didn’t they call on me? I would’ve flown to Rome on a whim.
Listen, I am a Westchester attorney, Westchester, the suburban land of milk and honey outside of New York. For the outsiders, it’s the land of mega-mansions and Lexus and Infiniti dealerships, the poor step-sister of its even wealthier neighbor, Greenwich, Connecticut. But hey, I’ll roll the dice, let my clients pay me what they think I’m worth. Maybe my rate would then sky-rocket to $500 an hour (don’t laugh, some of my clients really, really love me!)
My shopping list would go something like this:
(it’s just brushing my teeth)
(how much can water & soap cost?)
(they should pay us to load us with fat)