Farewell Captain

How do you say goodbye to a hero?  Someone who has been a part of your life for more than 20 years?  Someone who has brought you nothing but joy and great memories?  It’s hard but today’s the day New York says Farewell Captain.  Derek Jeter is retiring.  Me and my family will be there for part of baseball history because he has been so much a part of our family tapestry.

You have to understand what baseball is to me…it’s what bound this Daddy’s little girl to Daddy, along with dancing on the tops of his shoes.  My Dad taught me how to pitch, how to catch and he came to all of those girl’s softball games when I played shortstop, just like Derek Jeter.

Farewell CaptainYet, heroes are not born overnight.  They have to prove themselves.  They have to earn the right to your respect.  They have to lead by example and win your heart with each flub and foul…and they have to do it with grace and humility.  Derek Jeter has done just that throughout his stellar career.  So, he is not just leaving the New York Yankees but he is retiring from the game of baseball because he has been its dignified face for more than 20 years.

This summer was like the long goodbye.  Each turn at bat brought thousands of cameras out, clicking away, trying to memorialize a Jeter moment in time.  Then I went to a game and he didn’t take the field.  He draped himself across the fence in front of the dugout, his forever perch, always hugging it, head slouched, looking like a lost boy but focused on the field.  It was a bittersweet feeling for me, probably for him as well.  It’s a sadness that leaves a hole in your heart at the realization that this won’t last but the memory will.  Moments captured in the heart and not in pictures, moments you’ll remember for a lifetime because you lived the dream and believed that anything is and was possible.

I remember the day Joe DiMaggio died.  My Dad displayed a sadness I had never seen before.  He said it was as if his entire childhood and youth were slipping away.  With Sinatra’s death a few months earlier and then the Yankee Clipper.  It was a profound moment for him.

I don’t think there will be sadness in the Bronx today.  I think it’s going to be a party New York Style.  I think the cheering is going to be so loud that they’ll hear it all the way in Beantown and even the Bostonians will feel the love.

We all move onto new milestones in our lives.  Derek Jeter is looking forward to his.  Yankee Stadium was once known as the House that Ruth Built but there’s no denying that Derek Jeter lifted it to new heights.  Farewell Captain.  You will be missed…at least until the next Old Timers’ Day.

Remembering a Special Dad

Sorry I haven’t been blogging here much but I’ve been busy, having just released my second book, first novel, “Shrouded in Pompei.”  Writing priorities and life.

Fantino picnicYet, Dad’s Day is approaching. It’s a day that makes me miss my Dad all the more, even though I think of him every day. and have written about him both here and in my published memoir.  This year there seems to be a media push by today’s Dads touting themselves as Fathers 2.0, claiming they are more emotionally connected, more hands on, more in touch with their kids, more everything. It’s not only self-aggrandizing but untrue.

My Dad could not have been more hands on, sometimes literally, ouch! My Dad was a divorced, weekend Dad, who made sure he was never further than across the street, down the block or at the other end of a phone. Weekends had him cooking, washing and keeping us thoroughly entertained, while teaching us to dance on top of his shoes or make a quick throw across home plate.

He taught me respect and he taught me love by example. He did not seek accolades. He knew he needed to be different from his father but he didn’t bring attention to it, he just did it, without searching for anything but always hoping for our love and respect, which he always had.

When he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, his first thought was to get him into a drug trial. “Let me be the guinea pig so you kids don’t have to go through this.”  Even in his darkest time, he showed us strength and taught by example.

Now, don’t get me wrong, my Dad was not perfect. Just ask my sisters. He was generous with his love and attention but a strict, Sicilian-Calabrese father, tight with a penny. It was a Father’s Day joke when all three of us wound up giving him the same card, referencing this weakness.  He was also strict when it came to our dating choices and all the boys in Batter Up!the neighborhood knew not to mess with him. Yet, during one difficult heartbreak for me, he gently told me “don’t worry, he wasn’t the one for you.”  I was shocked and asked why he always seemed to like the guy. “If I had given you my opinion would you have listened? So I accepted your choice.”

I think I am quite a lucky girl to have been his daughter when I hear others who did not have a great relationship with their Dad. Maybe today’s Dads need to take a back seat while being front and center in their child’s life rather than trying to pat themselves on the back with their achievements. Children and how they live their lives should be reward enough for any father.

By the way Dad, I’m taking your favorite grandson to the stadium next week to see the Yanks crunch the BoSox. It’s Jeter’s final season. Can you believe it?

50 Years of Beatles’ Memories

It was a Friday…I remember it well. My Dad, an eager, young architect couldn’t wait to see the new JFK Airport and I was excited by his enthusiasm.  We ventured into the weekend traffic to pick up my aunt at the airport and drove into history.  Hoards of screaming girls were everywhere.  Imagine if that were to happen today. They’d shut the airport down, thinking it was an army of invading terrorists.  How things have changed.

I knew The Beatles were coming to town.  We all did.  How could you not.  It was the first thing in just over two months to take our minds off the great national tragedy we had suffered with the Kennedy assassination.  As with any period of grief, it is different for everyone but when a nation shares such an overwhelming loss, the cloud of grief lingers because of the shared miasma.  When a ray of difference breaks through the cloud, there is no holding back the light that permeates everywhere.  The Beatles were the ray of light a nation in mourning needed.

Who knew what would happen next?  Come Sunday night my Dad asked, “So, are you going to watch The Beatles?”  Silly question, my family watched Ed Sullivan every night.  This would be no different.  Yeah, right.

Ed Sullivan smiles while standing with The Beatles on the set of his variety show on Feb. 9, 1964.

Express Newspapers/Getty Images

“Ladies and gentlemen, The Beatles.”

That’s all it took.  We were hooked.  We were sucked into their world and they changed our world for the better.  My Mom and I laughed when the graphic under John’s picture read “Sorry, girls, he’s married.”  That’s OK, we still had three others to dream about.

Their music was inspiring and uplifting at a time when a nation needed something to drag it from the abyss.  Thank you John, Paul, George and Ringo for showing us the light. Thank you Mom and Dad for indulging my every Beatle whim for the rest of my life.

I went to Liverpool last year for my first Beatles’ journey, day trippin’ in Liverpool.  The BEST trip of my life and I can’t wait to go back.