Farewell Captain

How do you say goodbye to a hero?  Someone who has been a part of your life for more than 20 years?  Someone who has brought you nothing but joy and great memories?  It’s hard but today’s the day New York says Farewell Captain.  Derek Jeter is retiring.  Me and my family will be there for part of baseball history because he has been so much a part of our family tapestry.

You have to understand what baseball is to me…it’s what bound this Daddy’s little girl to Daddy, along with dancing on the tops of his shoes.  My Dad taught me how to pitch, how to catch and he came to all of those girl’s softball games when I played shortstop, just like Derek Jeter.

Farewell CaptainYet, heroes are not born overnight.  They have to prove themselves.  They have to earn the right to your respect.  They have to lead by example and win your heart with each flub and foul…and they have to do it with grace and humility.  Derek Jeter has done just that throughout his stellar career.  So, he is not just leaving the New York Yankees but he is retiring from the game of baseball because he has been its dignified face for more than 20 years.

This summer was like the long goodbye.  Each turn at bat brought thousands of cameras out, clicking away, trying to memorialize a Jeter moment in time.  Then I went to a game and he didn’t take the field.  He draped himself across the fence in front of the dugout, his forever perch, always hugging it, head slouched, looking like a lost boy but focused on the field.  It was a bittersweet feeling for me, probably for him as well.  It’s a sadness that leaves a hole in your heart at the realization that this won’t last but the memory will.  Moments captured in the heart and not in pictures, moments you’ll remember for a lifetime because you lived the dream and believed that anything is and was possible.

I remember the day Joe DiMaggio died.  My Dad displayed a sadness I had never seen before.  He said it was as if his entire childhood and youth were slipping away.  With Sinatra’s death a few months earlier and then the Yankee Clipper.  It was a profound moment for him.

I don’t think there will be sadness in the Bronx today.  I think it’s going to be a party New York Style.  I think the cheering is going to be so loud that they’ll hear it all the way in Beantown and even the Bostonians will feel the love.

We all move onto new milestones in our lives.  Derek Jeter is looking forward to his.  Yankee Stadium was once known as the House that Ruth Built but there’s no denying that Derek Jeter lifted it to new heights.  Farewell Captain.  You will be missed…at least until the next Old Timers’ Day.

Remembering a Special Dad

Sorry I haven’t been blogging here much but I’ve been busy, having just released my second book, first novel, “Shrouded in Pompei.”  Writing priorities and life.

Fantino picnicYet, Dad’s Day is approaching. It’s a day that makes me miss my Dad all the more, even though I think of him every day. and have written about him both here and in my published memoir.  This year there seems to be a media push by today’s Dads touting themselves as Fathers 2.0, claiming they are more emotionally connected, more hands on, more in touch with their kids, more everything. It’s not only self-aggrandizing but untrue.

My Dad could not have been more hands on, sometimes literally, ouch! My Dad was a divorced, weekend Dad, who made sure he was never further than across the street, down the block or at the other end of a phone. Weekends had him cooking, washing and keeping us thoroughly entertained, while teaching us to dance on top of his shoes or make a quick throw across home plate.

He taught me respect and he taught me love by example. He did not seek accolades. He knew he needed to be different from his father but he didn’t bring attention to it, he just did it, without searching for anything but always hoping for our love and respect, which he always had.

When he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, his first thought was to get him into a drug trial. “Let me be the guinea pig so you kids don’t have to go through this.”  Even in his darkest time, he showed us strength and taught by example.

Now, don’t get me wrong, my Dad was not perfect. Just ask my sisters. He was generous with his love and attention but a strict, Sicilian-Calabrese father, tight with a penny. It was a Father’s Day joke when all three of us wound up giving him the same card, referencing this weakness.  He was also strict when it came to our dating choices and all the boys in Batter Up!the neighborhood knew not to mess with him. Yet, during one difficult heartbreak for me, he gently told me “don’t worry, he wasn’t the one for you.”  I was shocked and asked why he always seemed to like the guy. “If I had given you my opinion would you have listened? So I accepted your choice.”

I think I am quite a lucky girl to have been his daughter when I hear others who did not have a great relationship with their Dad. Maybe today’s Dads need to take a back seat while being front and center in their child’s life rather than trying to pat themselves on the back with their achievements. Children and how they live their lives should be reward enough for any father.

By the way Dad, I’m taking your favorite grandson to the stadium next week to see the Yanks crunch the BoSox. It’s Jeter’s final season. Can you believe it?

Estate Planning for the Middle Class

Why do middle income earners find it so hard to talk about money?  Poor people will tell you they have none.  Wealthy people will tell you their net worth to the closest million or billion.  Yet, ask a middle income earner to sit down and take stock of his or her assets and the room goes silent.  It’s like asking many to give up state secrets under the threat of torture rather than execute an estate plan.

The reality is that we’re all going to die and whether it is 10 days away or 10 years away, you should know what you own down to your last ten cents.  Most estate attorneys require Westchester Estate Attorneyan inventory of your assets to better guide and assist you in planning ahead.  There is no cookie-cutter approach to drafting a will, trust or any other estate document so don’t call a law firm to request a “simple will.”  By working with a competent attorney to map out a custom estate plan, you will be informed and well-situated to deal with the future.

In gearing up for the asset inventory, here are a few tips to help ease the process:

1.  Check your bank/brokerage accounts on a weekly basis.  Not only is this good for safety in this climate of identity theft, but it gives you a good estimate of the value of your cash/securities.

2.  Check the value of your real property/co-op apartment on a periodic basis.  Just because you paid $150,000 for your first apartment three short years ago does not mean that it is still worth that much.  In fact, it might be worth less.  Websites like Trulia and Zillow will display recent market sales in your area simply by typing in your street address.

3.  Valuable collections should be appraised periodically.  Even if you don’t insure the artwork, coin collection, jewelry or other valuables, a periodic appraisal is worth the cost to place a value on your assets.  Maybe it’s time to cash in on a hot market or realize your cherished but valueless LP collection is sadly taking up dusty storage space now.

4.  Money is just a thing.  It comes, it goes.  We have it, we don’t.  Yet, it’s the one thing many of us feel so uneasy about, the one thing which can make life easy or hard.

Without a will, the courts will decide who gets your estate no matter what it’s worth,  So your Last Will and Testament should be the first and not the last thing you do when planning your future.