Small Business Networking

A new year brings new resolve to kick it up a notch, no matter what area of your life needs kickin’!  Small business owners struggle more than most in this economy because we don’t get a paycheck unless business comes in the door.  So, in the door we go to drum up new contacts at networking events.

I joined a new Italian group last night in NYC.  I went for fun and wound up meeting some great people.  This morning I wonder if I made the most efficient use of my time networking at the event.

There are so many scenarios.  Say, for example you attend a social networking event…..you’re in a very crowded room and you do not know a soul.  What do you do?  First of all, bravo for even attending!  Second, screw those who say you need that 60 second elevator speech to introduce yourself.  You are not a walking business card, nor does anyone at a social event want to speak with a billboard, yet you all know why you are present.

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Here are my top 3 tips for “working the room” at a crowded event:

1.  Ask for introductions – this only works if you know someone. Have your “contact” introduce you to whomever and then you’re on your own. Engage the person with questions about them before you start blabbing about yourself. “What brought you here tonight?” Then springboard from there. You cannot have this formulaic rhythm in your head.

2.  Speak about yourself but leave them wanting more – here is where your 60 second speech comes into play.  If you have just met someone, do not speak on and on about yourself.  It’s boring, even if they are laughing (they may be laughing at you or nervously because they want to escape)  Alter the conversation with their thoughts, cultural ideas and interests.  Steer absolutely clear of religion and politics unless you never want to see their business.

3.  Know your “networking” style – There are two styles in my opinion.  There are those who love to really walk the crowd, shaking as many hands and meeting as many people as possible.  I much prefer connecting with a few people during the evening and having at least a 15 minute conversation with them.  They remember you if you engage them.  If you shake hands and just collect cards, I can almost guarantee that no one there will remember you in 2 weeks much less two months when their need for your services may first arrive.

Anyone who has read this blog long enough knows that my Dad greatly influenced my business style and when I started my own practice he bought me a copy of Stephen Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”  I guess after being on the air for 20+ years, Dad still thought I needed help communicating.  LOL

Anyway, Covey suggests the “principles of empathic communication.”  Seek first to understand in order to be understood.  Everyone filters their thoughts and expressions through their own agendas and priorities.  Until you can grasp that their goals may not be the same as your endgame, you will not be successful at meeting their game and growing yours.

Buon anno a tutti and may we all have a more prosperous 2012

Westchester attorney on Italy’s broadening gender gap

It’s no secret that I am a strong Italian-American woman. Five minutes in a room…….or courtroom…….with me will show you that. That sense of strength, independence and fire is in my DNA.  I had four strong Sicilian great-grandmothers and grandmothers who packed up everything they could into one suitcase and sailed to a better life in steerage.  These were women who were from established families in Sicily; yet, even post-unification, they knew that the ancient mindset would keep them shackled to their stoves forever, no matter how successful the men in their families would become.

My great-grandfather, a respected bridge engineer, was liberal to a point, in that he allowed his daughter to get an education around 1910 but when she married the gardener, he disowned her.  The point is that these traditional Italian women fought against that cultural mindset which reveres women but at the same time subjugates them to most Italian men.

This past weekend, many Italian women took to the streets in protest, yet many others merely went about their day, planning what to wear to lure a man into marriage.  Maybe I should say what little to wear in that they believe sex is all they have to offer a relationship and these are young women in their 20s and 30s.

It is also no secret to those who know me that I have longed to have a temporary residence along the Amalfi Coast and have been researching ways to make that happen, even with a virtual position.  Yesterday, I was further appalled when the ancient mindset of Italian culture slapped me in the face in that every job ad which I examined advertised an age limit for the position.  Wait, what? Yes, you heard me right.  There were openings for writers, journalists, executive consultants, marketing analysts and the ads clearly stated “Età max 35 anni.”  Are you kidding me?  In a country where unemployment is at 8.5%, although I suspect it’s close to double that in the south, and knows no age limit, these companies are openly discriminating against anyone over the age of 35.  Certainly, age discrimination exists all over the world but in Italy they blatantly make no bones about it and in fact, they rank 74 out of 135 countries in a broadening global gender gap.

So, a women without an education over the age of 35 has no hope but to marry someone just to secure a future.  The men, on the other hand, are trapped into marriages by women selling sex as an asset and then forced to support them forever when the marriage ends…and it does because nearly one in every two marriages ends in divorce in Italy.No wonder many Italian women scowl when they see an American “take away” an eligible Italian man from his homeland………..there goes a meal ticket!

Is this the 21st century or the Dark Ages?  Mamma mia!

Westchester attorney on the power of prayer

It is in these tough times that everyone, believer and agnostic alike, turns to prayer.  I won’t claim to be an expert.  Even 14 years of Catholic school won’t get me that crown.  Yet, I think, as a journalist, I am a keen observer of human nature and I think it’s actually funny how those who don’t pray on a regular basis begin to make deals with God in tough times.

I am a true believer in the power of prayer.  I have seen it work miracles in my own life several times over.  Today, social media has turned the world on its head and people no longer socially interact with each other – they type and hope for the best.  There are many online prayer circles with the calls of those in pain asking for help from other cyber-faithful and God.  Some of these prayer requests are heart-wrenching and genuine, while others are gibberish and pulpit-pounding insanity.

There are prayer requests from those who truly believe and that is evident in their phrasing.  Then there are those who have not looked to God in a long time or have looked to God in vain.

There is no wrong way to ask for help.  There is no wrong way to pray………as long as you believe and don’t make deals with God.  He is not looking for you to trade him something.  He has all he needs without your desperate offerings.  Ask and pray that he guide you to the best solution and have faith in the outcome.

By the way, Satan doesn’t play a role in prayer.  Telling God you renounce Satan harkens back to the ancients who believed evil can possess a soul, such as those who killed women at the Salem Witch Trials.  What a lot of nonsense. If you are praying for relationship resolutions, Satan does not live where love is present.  Think of how that very concept is contradictory to the essence of true love.  You cannot have faith and then doubt it because a roadblock has been placed in your path.  True faith believes there is a solution to getting around that obstacle and coming out stronger for the experience.  No deals are necessary when the will to persevere is present.